I watched the married couple in front of me, who are none other than my parents. They are about 65 and 70 years old; I believe they have been married for more than 50 years already.

In traditional standards, my age has also reached the marriage age. Most girls around my age have even had a few kids, while I, honestly, am still enjoying my single era.

Sometimes I also question myself, do I want a marriage? Do I need a partner? Do I want one? I have too many examples around me: unsuccessful marriages or just unhappy ones. Yup, I don’t want that.

Looking at them again, I think most of the time, I see mom always doing things for dad. It almost looks like taking care of a child. Is that what they call love? From preparing his bath, cooking for him, preparing meals, taking care of the dishes, making coffee for him and his friends, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and even putting meals on his plate. I watch all of this not in admiration; it’s sickening. I don’t want my life to end up like that.

Do I hate my dad? No, don’t get me wrong. I love my parent, but this just doesn’t suit me. What I want to see is partnership. Why doesn’t my dad help my mom, at least to clean the house, help do laundry, or keep the house clean (not making a mess anywhere)?

I also see similar examples of married couples between my sisters and their husbands. Maybe marriage comes with these consequences?

Well, men out there… why do you guys want to get married? Was it really because you can’t take care of yourselves anymore? My friend ever told me this, “well, you are old enough-you need someone (a wife) to take care of you, to build a family”. But for wife, what is the use of having husband, if that just adding up more stress and workload in our life?

Financial aid for girls? Uhm… from the examples I see around me, this does not work. My friend (a housewife) is also helping out her husband to get extra income for the future of their child. Sometimes I think, if she didn’t get married, she might have enough money and energy for herself. But getting married? She needs to share her energy to take care of so many heads in her house (and I am not going to start with in-laws). This ends up neglecting her own needs. So why?

A woman with a career? There is always something that needs to be sacrificed. Basically, she can’t perform at her best in her job with another extra workload at home. A woman without a career? A housewife? I see an unhappy marriage, stressful days, and blame directed at her as a consequence of having a partner who is the only one providing for the family (and, again, additional stress from in-laws).

I may be culturally biased as I see these examples around me, but looking at this real-life example, I really think that I don’t want to lead this kind of life.

Just a thought, though. I need to see a better example to convince me to take this path. The more concrete illustrations I can reference, the more confident I will feel in making this important choice.

Maybe one day I will change my mind… and I hope to find a supportive partner. I don’t want to babysit a grown-up man.